“The price of greatness is responsibility.”
– Winston Churchill
LEADERSHIP CHALLENGE: “I’ve been noticing persistent negativity in our organization. I want us to feel powerful and enjoy our roles again. How can we move past this?”
Quick Summary:
The fastest way to recognize low responsibility – in yourself and others – is persistent negative emotion
Negative emotions indicate where we are avoiding responsibility
Responsibility is dodged by blaming, justification, denial, “brilliant logic”, or “confusion”
Negative emotions lift when we take responsibility and do what needs to be done
Go Deeper:
I recently wrote The CEO’s Guide to Imposter Syndrome and mentioned both burnout and a lack of responsibility as two chief causes of Imposter Syndrome.
To start, you can read more about Leadership Burnout: Causes and Cures here, however, that may not be enough.
As it relates to Responsibility, many people experience Imposter Syndrome because it’s valid, for a slew of reasons. The demands of your role have likely never been higher, and if it sometimes feels overwhelming, that’s understandable.
However, the degree of persistent negative emotions you’re experiencing, including Imposter Syndrome, is directly related to the level of responsibility you’re taking for addressing these issues. The same can be said for your team.
Imagine a teeter-totter with negative emotion to the left and responsibility to the right. When negative emotions are low, responsibility is high, which is ideal. But when negative emotions are high, responsibility is low. If your negative emotions are persistently high, it’s time to ask yourself – and others – where there’s a need to take more responsibility.
I believe we have an innate sense of integrity, which, when compromised, makes us unhappy. When we are “in integrity” with ourselves, we feel positive. Our negative emotions are a sign that something is off; our canary in our coal mine. In this way they can be a gift when we recognize and respond to them, getting ourselves back in integrity by doing what we need to do – and being who we need to be.
To start to solve this, first recognize your typical negative emotion “playlist.” Maybe your playlist is resentment, impatience, or criticism. Or stress, dread, and regret. Or maybe you complain a lot. Whatever it is, coolly recognizing and naming your recurring emotions makes it easier to recognize when responsibility is calling.
The five recurring ways I see people avoid responsibility are blame, justification, denial, “brilliant logic” (excuses that sound convincing – even to you), and “confusion”. Where are you complaining, shifting blame, ignoring root causes, coasting instead of developing yourself, going through the motions, or leaning on brilliant logic using fancy excuses?
And when it comes to your team – who really has the problem? The person giving excuses, or the person accepting them?
The areas that evoke negative emotion are where more responsibility is asking to be taken. It is a form of “cognitive dissonance” (the discomfort we feel when our beliefs, values, or actions conflict), e.g., I know I need to address this, but I’m not doing anything about it.
The good news is you do not need to have something mastered for the negativity to decrease. The sincere process of starting to take responsibility is enough. It’s the feeling you have when you’ve tolerated something too long and finally get the ball rolling. Relief – and pride.
An example of this would be creating learning goals or process goals for yourself around where you need to improve, instead of outcome or performance goals. This may look like creating a daily habit of deep learning in the area you know you’re lacking to reduce your Imposter Syndrome. It’s difficult to have negative emotions when you’re doing the work.
Recognize the link between negative emotions and low responsibility in yourself and others. We don’t get what we deserve in life. We get what we tolerate, including from ourselves. Which is where responsibility comes in.
Part of my work is diagnosing leadership. I witness leaders with high responsibility address challenges in an almost unblinking manner: “Here is the issue, and here’s what I’m doing about it.” They do not necessarily see themselves as the cause of all problems, but they always see themselves as being part of, if not all of, the solution. I respect and encourage it.
Leaders who score low on responsibility almost invariably start by blaming the diagnostic. On reflection, they recognize where their low responsibility is present – and how it is weakening them. It is only through taking full responsibility in their life and their role that their results – and their attitude – will shift.
Negative emotions are a part of life, and sometimes things happen that upset us. We are not responsible for everything that happens. However, we are responsible for how we respond to what happens. The negativity comes not from what happens, but from how we choose to respond.
I recommend seeing persistent negative emotion in yourself or your organization as something you can change. And that it is likely your job to change. The solution is not pandering to the perpetually dissatisfied – whether that is you or those around you. The solution is to place responsibility where it belongs. With encouragement, of course. And to own your part in what you allowed to happen – and to correct yourself.
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If you’re ready to move beyond frustration – yours or others’ – I’m here. Request your consultation →
This guide reflects Katherine Hosie‘s CEO coaching and leadership coaching observations developed over two decades at Powerhouse Coaching. Based in Greenwich, CT and New York | Previously 12 years in San Francisco & Silicon Valley | CEO Coaching nationally.
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